Why is everything a competition?

Why when it comes to feeding our children is there such a competitive atmosphere? We all know about the debate between breast and formula, but even within those, there is more competition. I’ve been interrogated (I saw that as I felt I was being questioned by the feeding police) about my choice of feeding in the past and it made me feel rubbish.

I chose to formula feed Lily. I am one of those mothers who had no inclination to breastfeed their child. The majority of people I know formula fed their children, so it was something I was comfortable with. I also didn’t like the 100% pressure on myself for feeding if I chose breastfeeding.

I have no objection to other people breastfeeding, it just isn’t for me, but I had stages of my pregnancy where even my midwife tried to bully me out of formula feeding. As any new mother will know, when you have a question, you ask your midwife or health visitor hoping to get help or guidance. When I asked my midwife what I would definitely need to buy for formula feeding, she told me she wasn’t allowed to help me as it was “against NHS guidelines”! I was shocked. How can that be a thing? Surely NHS midwives are there to support everyone in every situation.

Choosing formula feeding meant we could share that huge responsibility. Here is Matt giving Lily her first ever bottle!

From that day on, she would ask me overtime I saw her if I was going to breastfeed. I would say no, then have to listen to her lecture me for the rest of the appointment. At 19 years old, I found that really intimidating from a women who (I can only guess) was in her 40s.

After all of this, I was even questioned at a baby and parent group as to why I was formula feeding the way I was. I had no idea what this mother meant until she highlighted the bottle I was using. Apparently if you formula feed you HAVE to have the top brand, highest price, anti-colic bottle known to man. She wasn’t impressed.

Why does any of it matter? Surely as long as your child is fed and healthy, it doesn’t matter?

I read a fabulous blog today by Maddy at The Speed Bump relating to the news that Jamie Oliver now wants to become some kind of champion for breastfeeding (take a look here, it’s hilarious!).

This is a debate which seems to never want to go away. Hopefully a day will come where parents can go to “feeding groups” as opposed to “breastfeeding groups” and that we can all just get on with being mothers.

Rant over really!



One thought on “Why is everything a competition?

  1. The problem is, we have breast is best yelled at us from the time we find out we are pregnant, I was lucky to be able to breastfeed, however I couldn’t pump for the life of me, so at times my son was formula fed, I agree, it should be happy mummy happy baby and as long as the child is being fed one way or the other. I have heard stories of how babies are not being fed enough because the pressure on breastfeeding is so hardcore


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