Only child syndrome – people who do not have any siblings. Some of the claimed characteristics include selfishness, an inability to share and difficulty making friends.
Lily is an only child at the present time. She’s two, full of confidence, chatty, determined and has a problem with sharing her toys! It feels like a problem and something I should be doing something about, but I don’t know how.
Lily is great at nursery, play groups and other peoples houses, but when it comes to sharing her own toys at home, there is a problem brewing that I want to stop now while it’s small. Part of me thinks that maybe, she just doesn’t have the understanding that it’s nice to share her toys. I’ve also thought that she may think that toys that aren’t at home are for everyone and those that are, are just for her.
It makes me feel awkward about inviting people over, even my own family as the problem extends to some adults, not just other children. When asking advice from some fellow parents, some suggested that I have another child so that she is forced to learn to share, but right now, that’s not what we want and also, that seems like a ridiculous way to overcome a problem.
Is it only child syndrome, or is it simply Lily being a two year old who is learning 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I’m also concerned that on this occasion, I’m turning into that “my child is perfect and never wrong” parent and I really don’t want to be like that.
So far I have tried playing games with Lily that involves sharing and taking turns such as pairs, snakes and ladders and puzzles. This seems to work but only for a short space of time. As soon as she gets the hang of the game and becomes really confident with it, she just wants to do it by herself. She’s completely happy doing things by herself though. She’s always really proud of herself and happy when she completes something by herself and I don’t want her to lose that. It feels like this is a no win situation really.
Everyone is told how when parenting, go with your gut instinct, this time its telling me that it’s a common phase and we just need to ride the waves with it, but I’m also worried that people will label her as a “trouble maker” or “brat” and that’s what I want to avoid.