Right before falling pregnant with Lily, I had lost quite a bit of weight and I had finally become confident with my body. Since having Lily, I seem to have fallen back into bad habits. I don’t think I look completely horrific. I have the general post-baby stretch marks, lumps and bumps, but still, after nearly three years, I can’t find clothes to suit me anymore.
I find things that fit my waist are just too tight around my chest and hips and if I try using accessories to help my waist I just look ridiculous. I’ve landed in a cycle of wearing skinny jeans with baggy shirts which I think make me feel and look larger than I am. I feel like I’m like one of those 30-year-old ladies on one of Gok Wan’s old shows and I need a major overhaul.
I struggled a lot with my weight when I was about 17-18 years old and for a while, it really consumed me and was all I could think about. Even now I still go through periods of time where all I see in the mirror is an elephant. I struggle to accept that, even before having Lily, my chest was prominent and my hips were wide. Now they’re just wider and more prominent with an added mum-tum.
I don’t think my wobbly tummy is ever going to go away. I’ve spent the last three years really trying to tone it up, even just a little, but it’s just not going. So how do I dress it? I love my skinny jeans. I have quite good legs (I do like some parts of me) and they really suit them, but my main dilemma is finding t-shirts, tops and dresses to work with me. Right now, I have a lot of large, baggy jumpers which I tend to buy quite big to make sure they definitely fit over my chest. I also used to wear heels all the time, which to me, helps you look more slender, but with now being able to drive, that isn’t always an option (I miss them a lot).
What annoys me is I don;’t really eat badly and I exercise regularly yet I seem to be stuck at 11st and can’t shift anything. It’s depressing. Short of starving myself, I’m not sure what else I can do. I eat a lot of salad and fish and make sure I do some form of exercise every day, even if it is just a long walk or running around after a toddler.
I try and find celebrities with similar body shapes to try and get inspiration, but my bank balance is missing a few zeros to compete with them. I also find it hard to find clothes that suit my body. Everywhere seems to cater for the ‘desired’ flat, skeletal look and considering that the average size of a woman in the UK is a 12-14, this is ridiculous. I used to love going shopping but now, 7/10 it leaves me in tears feeling ugly, fat and disgusting. I then get home to be told by everyone around me that I’m not fat, but when I look in the mirror, I genuinely see just so much fat. Is everyone just trying to make me feel better?
I think the toughest bit about this and being a young mum is that the majority of people my age don’t have this problem, so clothes that are in style and popular, aren’t really catered for a post-baby body shape and the shops that do aren’t always a popular choice. I know the styles I find that flatter my shape make me feel like I’ve raided my nan’s wardrobe. Why can’t there be a shop with stylish clothes that flatter curvy bodies for young mums?
I’d love to hear where you all shop? Do you have the same issues now your body has changed?