That time of year has come, yes the first assignment of the year at university has been submitted…and I’m scared that it’s going to be totally wrong! The first assignment of the year is always tough as you’ve spent an extended period of time not writing anything! It also doesn’t help that I really don;t understand the class.
It led to my anxiety popping back up again and it’s hard. The pressure of this being the last year is really sinking in. There’s no more time to re-do work or make up the points elsewhere, you’ve got to get it right and you’ve got to do it right first time. I just want to get it done, but also get it done to a good standard. Giving my work a professional appearance and flow are two factors really important to me and I know that by not doing so, it can damage my grade.
I find it tough. Most of my work is written either very late in the evening once motherhood can take a back seat, or early in the morning after the nursery school run. I look at my work and although it feels like it’s right, I’m sure the lecturer can just see the exhaustion and desperation of wanting it over with when they mark it! I know I signed up for this, but this year it is really getting to me. It’s a bit like when I first had a day on my own, with Lily just being a mum. I’d never done it before, the “instructions” were vague and useless and all I did was panic that I was wrong. I’m just hoping it comes back with a good grade that can at least be useful towards my final degree mark in July!
I guess this is more of a vent or deep breath than anything helpful really this week! Oh dear!